One of the most comforting truths I’ve learned from years of sitting with people is this: being human, messy, imperfect, sometimes clumsy, is not only okay. It’s what makes relationships real.
So often, parents (and really all of us) fall into the trap of believing we need to “get it right” all the time. The perfect words, the perfect plan, the perfect example.
But here’s the thing. Your kids don’t want perfection. They don’t want a polished version of you that’s following a script from page 55 of a parenting book. They want you.
LEARNING HOW TO REPAIR
They want the parent who sometimes says the wrong thing and then comes back and says, “You know what, I didn’t like how I handled that. Let’s try again.” That’s not failure. That’s teaching them how to be human, how to repair, and how to love in real time.
NO SCREENS, NO SCHEDULE, NO AGENDA
Connection doesn’t have to be complicated. It often looks like slowing down, creating moments with no screens, no schedules, and no agenda. Sitting in the awkward silence long enough for something genuine to emerge. Playing a silly game together. Taking a walk. Having a meal without the digital noise.
These simple, nourishing moments are like real food after weeks of fast food. They feed something deep in us that is starving for attention.
SPACE FOR REST & CREATIVITY
It’s also important to remember: your children (and you) need space for rest, imagination, and creativity. Our culture of constant comparison and busyness pushes us toward doing more, faster, better. But children flourish when they have room to listen to their own inner voice, and we do too.
EXPERIMENT WITH IMPERFECTION
So maybe this week, experiment with a little imperfection. Set aside one night where the phones go away. Try being a little messy, a little playful, a little more present. Notice what comes up.
Because at the end of the day, the most healing, powerful thing you can offer your child, your partner, or your community is not perfection. It is you.
Deborah Edgar, PhD, LMFT